spookymormon: spookymormon: my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great
genocidegeneration: fasterfood: if i was a therapist i would have soulja boy as an assistant and every time my patient asked a question that was too emotional like ‘why did my dad leave me’ i would just turn and be like ‘soulja boy tell em’ Then he’d look at them and scream “YOOOUUUUU” and they’d cry
startingfromhere: iamthebatfan: thepioden: hair-old-styles: harrystyies: What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us? My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic,...
stopharry2013: I never had a “boys are icky and gross” phase I’ve literally been chasing dick since birth I find my life has been quite the opposite.
psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
asphyxion: i went to a high school where they played jeopardy music when you had about 30 seconds to get to class and i shit you not best part of the day was seeing kids sprinting to class with this music playing
bueno: things i haven’t learned in high school how to pay bills how to buy a house how to buy a car how to apply for loans for college but thank jesus i can graph a polynomial function
I have two moods One is highly sophisticated intellectual who goes into complex thoughts and is always moody and deep the other is an immature 5 year old that doesn’t know how to control herself or her language or her actions there is no inbetween
mcsnuggie: true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
What if we all had mental disorders?
psych-facts: Aries- Histrionic disorder (pervasive attention-seeking behavior including inappropriate sexual seductiveness and shallow or exaggerated emotions.) Taurus- Binge disorder (characterized as going through periods of excessive amounts of eating, rest, sex, drinking, other indulgences, and focusing on physical pleasures to cope with stress) Gemini- Multiple personality disorder...
paula-valeria: fatefellshortthistoime: “you’re only 18, you’ll regret that tattoo when you’re older” my mom says as she hands me college applications so i can decide on the career i’ll have for the rest of my life woah
oomshi: basically any picture of me prior to current time is embarrassing And for the next 7 years, probably.
beifag: k1mkardashian: girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry